Perspective

Today is International Women's Day. I only know this because a bunch of people sent me texts wishing me. I'll be honest, it's not a day that has had much importance to me. It just feels like another one of those days that they have created in the calendar. Like National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. Ok, not a fair comparison, but you get where I'm coming from. 

When I saw the texts from folks, the first thought that came to mind was, "Oh, I should probably post something about this also." This refers to posting on my social media for Antara Asthaayi Dance. It really wasn't coming from the heart at all, and I had accepted that I wouldn't be partaking in the commemoration of this important day. 

Then at my weekly meeting, my team member presented me with this:

I immediately loved it, and the image/message sent my neurons firing away, sparking a desire to tell my story, whatever that was. 

I composed a short message for my Facebook/IG that touched upon my train of thinking - the irony that kathak is performed and preserved predominantly by women, yet our gharanas (schools) are all headed by men. This thought came to me because I was recently teaching my little girls about the Lucknow gharana, and explaining how it was father who passed it on to son, and he onto his son, etc. I added how women weren't really a part of this, because they were expected to get married and have kids. Even saying the words just felt so strange. I'm sure (and hope) it felt totally alien and incomprehensible to them as well.

Further exploring the importance of this day, a friend had shared a creative project with me, where she was listing out women geniuses. She pointed out how the word genius is almost never associated with women. Such a simple point, but so powerful. I started thinking about the women I would consider 'genius,' and struggled with it. I felt resistance when I tried to put Lata Mangeshkar in that category. She is a legendary singer with thousands of songs recorded, has received the highest honor given to any civilian in India (Bharat Ratna), received honorary doctorates from half a dozen universities and arts institutions - and yet I still asked myself, "But is she is genius?" Luckily, Oprah didn't cause that issue for me. No doubt, that woman is pure genius. I began pondering the women I would consider heroes in my life, or 'SHEroes,' as I believe they are called. Again, I struggled. 

I was in conversation with a colleague, discussing a self-help style book the both of us had recently read. At the author's suggestion of how to do a particular exercise, she rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, that's such a white man's perspective ... not happening, next!" I stopped in my tracks. I had read the same thing, and responded in such a different way. Realizing I would not be able to conduct the exercise the way he had suggested, I took shame/blame on myself - because I was unable to do it the 'right' way. 

This idea of 'perspective' is not something that should be new, but it feels very new to me. Reading interviews with female filmmakers, I hear them share about their perspective on stories, and I find myself scratching my head wondering "what does that mean?" Why or how would a movie or TV show produced or directed by a colored woman be so different? 

Watching Padma Lakshmi's "Taste the Nation" helped answered that question for me. The first episode brought me to tears and a craving for a burrito, at the same time. I had never thought about how much of what we imbibe is colored by the perspective of the white man. And how that, in turn, shapes my own perspective of the world, and my place in it. 

So, I guess I can say, that I am starting to feel the importance of International Women's Day. But really, this needs to be more than just a day, or even a month. Just like the BLM movement, it needs to be a part of our day-to-day thinking. And I guess, that's why more women, and people of color, sharing their stories is so essential to our society. 

I've since added some names to the list of my (women) heroes: Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, Michelle Obama, Tina Fey, Kamala Harris, Madhur Jaffrey, Padma Lakshmi, Sunidhi Chauhan, Sitara Devi, Gauhar Jaan, Zoya Akhtar, Saroj Khan, Mira Nair, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Greta Thunberg .... and I will keep adding names liberally, as I continue my ongoing education of the incredible women of yesterday and today, while shaping the incredible women of tomorrow!