Last night poor baby was so disturbed, we just couldn't figure it out. Long story short (and yes, it was a loong night) he was having gas. My milk had just come in yesterday and I guess we weren't properly burping him n he just had really bad gas. He was fussy all night. The 1am feeding finally happened after 4am after several phone calls to the on call pediatric nurse. All this time I was physically in such bad shape -- my stitches were sore, my breasts were so engorged it was paining constantly, and the more he was crying the more engorged they became. And this is not even taking into acct the emotional stress. Poor baby's throat had gone hoarse from crying so much so his cries sounded so sad and pathetic.
(sigh!) it was rough. But he finally fed after a big poo and we managed to get a couple of hours of sleep (2.5 hrs straight!) an then eventually ha another feeding in the morning. I was soooo exhausted and broken in the morning. I felt like I'm falling apart.
Anyway it's the next day ... Or more like a continuation of the same night. This is why ur learning curve is so steep-- it hasn't been 4 days with him but 96 hours, nonstop. Now if only I could find my damn video camera!!!
The best gift I have given myself (unbeknownst to me) is the gift of penning my thoughts and perspectives. I have a box full of "diaries," that are filled up with the thoughts, feelings, and dreams of myself in various phases of life, going as far back as the age of eight! If there was one word I would use to describe myself, I would say that I am a storyteller. The greatest story you can tell is that of your life - make it a good one.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
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