More vivid dreams...

Last night's dream consisted of me being in the SF apartment, and I was checking myself out in the mirror, and remarking how I hardly look pregnant. I think I have this recurring dream every 3-4 nights, where my body has miraculously gone back to what it looked like when I was 4-5 months pregnant (which in retrospect, doesn't even look like I'm pregnant!) ... and I'll get so excited that I can do normal physical activity -- brisk walking, running, slipping out of car doors, etc. And then, of course, I wake up, and I'm still a hippo.

Me at 4 months pregnant

Anyway, so back to my dream ... as I was enjoying my slimmer figure, I thought 'wait, where's the baby if my stomach is so flat?' and at that moment my water broke, all over the bathroom rug. I was alone in the apartment, so called Kingsuk ... and heard his phone ringing in the apartment, and realized that both Kutu and Kingsuk were in the apartment all this time.  I woke them up -- in my dream, we had hosted a dinner party the night before, and they were tired and hungover, and I had woken up early and was cleaning the apartment (this was obviously in slimmer times; now I can barely move) -- so I told them to start getting ready to go to the hospital. But the whole time, I was really concerned about the paneer sabji I had made the night before, and all the leftover food, and was trying to get them to pack the food so that it wouldn't go waste -- whereas, they were more concerned with getting me to the hospital.

The dream ended there ... and I woke up, still hugely pregnant.

Poopie Dreams

I had a very, very realistic dream last night, where I thought it was really happening. Baby had been born, and we were bringing him home. First of all, he looked like Shivaranjani (Guru ji's daughter), which was strange in itself, and I kept thinking how he's too big to fit into the Newborn sized clothes that we bought for him, and how those will probably go to waste.

Then I noticed that it was mom & me driving the baby back, and the carseat was behind the driver's seat, and I was irritated -- who set it up all wrong? I hadn't even turned back to look at the baby until we arrived at home. We got home and mom & I struggled to take the car seat out of the car, but we managed, and waited for Daddy & Kingsuk to arrive in the other car.

We were hanging out with baby at home, and then I said that we should probably change the baby's diaper. I opened the diaper and there was yellow poo all over -- it had gotten on baby's back (which I've seen) but also got everywhere in baby's hair too! And bc of the umbilical cord, we couldn't just give the baby a bath, so we were all taking out poo by hand from baby's hair. At this point, baby's head transformed into a brussels sprout size, and taking out the poo was like taking of layers of brussels sprouts leaves -- but very gently.

Me and Baby Shivaranjani

I woke up feeling like such a failure of a parent. I feel like I'm not ready for anything -- I'm tired of being pregnant, but I'm not ready to go into labor, and I'm totally not ready for all the feeding & poopings & lack of sleep that comes thereafter. I know it's probably just an overreaction, and common anxiety to have before the baby arrives ... but it was just a crappy dream (no pun intended). 

Bored

Baby's moved into back labor position, which sucks. But there's still time so I'll do my stretches n hopefully move him back into proper position. No further dilation :( I need to start walking more so I can bring on contractions.
Two weeks, four days left.

Full term

Baby's now full term... So anyday now would be great! I know, I know, it's better for him to stay there till the end (sigh!). Since this weekend's contractions I've been pretty contraction free- had a few Braxton Hicks today but nothing out of the ordinary.
So I'm just trying to enjoy this down time before the sleepless nights begin. Since I'm dwindling down my involvement at work (I am after all on maternity leave!) and bc we've had no Internet this past week (which has been a blessing in disguise for me to actually disengage from work) I'm finding more time to do stuff. So watching mom knitting all this stuff for Puckhu inspired me and I started knitting a sweater last night for Puckhu. Ok, I don't know how to knit sweaters, but I figure I'll do as much as I can and then hand it off to mom from there :)

False labor

Contractions have stopped. So frustrating. Hardly got any sleep last night, was in discomfort, and to no avail! (sigh!) I guess I should be happy he's staying in there longer. I'm just tired now after last night. Again, prolly good practice/prep for the real thing. Grrrr....!

Spoke too soon

Ok, not sure where I stand, but have been having low intensity contractions for the last 12 hrs now. False labor? Braxton hicks? Or just a very long early labor?
I guess we'll find out today!

Countdown begins!

3 weeks, 3 days to go! Now I have weekly check ups with the doc... I've already started dilating which is a good sign for a first time pregnancy... And baby is in the proper position. Yay!! Really hopeful and keeping my fingers crossed for a normal birth, no C-section. And as of Tuesday, it'll be a full term pregnancy! A couple of weeks ago I was thinking that baby will be coming earlier than the due date... Now I think that he's comfortably nestled in there and not coming out anytime soon. But who knows, I have no basis for this judgement!
Anyway, was really excited after the docs appt to hear that all is well on its way. Next week she'll approximate the weight of baby.