Durga Puja

This was my first Durga Puja, and definitely an important one, as I'm officially a Bengali now -- how strange is that? I was actually quite excited about it, and we came to San Jose the night before so that we could easily make it to the Sunnyvale Temple in time the next morning.

Jhumi aunty had given me a beautiful silk & brocade sari that I was looking forward to wearing, especially when I found a blouse at home that matched perfectly with it. I have tied chiffon/georgette saris on myself before with reasonable success, so I figured, if someone helps me with the pleats, I should be able to handle a silk sari, right?

Wrong. After about 5 attempts over the course of 45 minutes, I still looked like a big, poofy ball of silk -- not at all the classy, svelte Bangali Bou I had envisioned when I saw the sari. I finally had to make a desperate emergency call to Hina aunty, and drove over in a rush to have her tie my sari. She had two customers sitting around, waiting, as she tied my sari. Embarrassing to say the least, but a huge relief at the same time.

We headed out for the temple -- 2 hours later than the scheduled time. Lucky for us, we were just in time (IST zindabad). I couldn't believe how crowded this place was. Hundreds of people stood in front of the stage where all the idols stood, and a man on loud speaker said something in Bengali, that I of course could not understand. When he finished, Jhumi aunty grabbed my arm and said 'Come, let's go.' And we began fighting through the crowd to get to the front. I lost King to three aunties behind me -- I guess he was being slightly more polite about getting through than us. I'm glad we fought to get to the front because I got to see the entire stage -- Durga in the middle, and her four children, 2 on each side -- Saraswati, Laxmi, Ganesh, and Kartik. I didn't even know Durga had kids. Probably because I didn't realize until that moment that Durga is an incarnation of Parvati.

We grabbed flowers from the aluminum (pronounced 'aluminium') trays being passed around, and then started repeating the words of the Pandit ji. That was a fun challenge for me. We repeated the entire thing 3 times, by the third time I knew what was coming next sometimes. If it's the same thing said every year, then in a few years I might even get it all down! Understanding it is another issue however.

Traditionally, you are supposed to throw the flowers on the goddess. But, the lazy organizers at the Sunnyvale Temple didn't want to bother with cleaning up flowers on the asphalt parking lot below, and found another solution they deemed suitable. After distributing the flowers from the aluminum trays, they simply collect the flowers back into those same trays, and one designated person will offer some of the flowers onto the goddess. Is it me -- or is that just LAME? They've taken away the whole essence of the 'pushpanjali,' the offering of flowers.

And that was my first Durga Puja. Oh, and during lunch I tripped and dropped a whole tub of sambar onto my chest, and was stuck with wet and dry dal all over me for the rest of the afternoon. And then when we were leaving, I had a parking ticket waiting for me too.

Get the Hint?

My birthday and wedding gifts are still trickling in ... which is nice because it feels like an ongoing Christmas. In the last two weeks, I've received 6 cookbooks and a full (silver) silverware set for 8, amongst other things. I don't know about you, but I'm definitely taking the hint.

So to inaugurate my new cookbooks, the other night I made 2 dishes from 2 different books. An eggplant-tomato-basil risotto (the hubby loves all my risottos, lucky for me), and sundried tomato-feta mini cupcakes. I thought the dinner was quite a hit, if I must say so myself. We even had a guest eating with us (Alexis), so that made it all the more motivating.

Now I'm trying to figure out today's menu.

Yay!

Today we bought a TV, dresser, mirror, dining table ... and a few days ago we bought an entertainment system and cabinet for the bathroom. All of these items will be arriving in the next few weeks -- I can't wait!

Feels like I'm married

I think this weekend was the first time (in our one month marriage) that I felt like I was married. The impetus behind it was my whole family left for England, leaving me and the hubby in the U.S. all by ourselves.

I'm making it sound more dramatic than it is, but seeing off my parents and knowing that I wasn't going on a family vacation with them is definitely a first in my life. After dropping them off, King and I went furniture shopping for the first time for our apartment. It was a lot of fun -- agreeing and disagreeing on many things. We ate out most of the weekend, or did take out, and would come home exhausted, and plop down in front of the TV and watch hours and hours of BSG (Battlestar Galactica). I know it probably sounds boring and domesticated to other people, but it was really a lot of fun.

So -- to answer the question you hear the most after you get married -- 'How's married life?' The answer is -- married life is great :-)

Muhavare

I've been fortunate enough to have a mother that forced me to speak in Hindi as I was growing up -- something that I cannot thank her enough for. On top of that, she is a very literary person, with excellent language skills. Even my father, who is more left-brained and doesn't boast of poetic license, grew up hearing many idiomatic phrases from his mother. This combination has resulted in me developing a love for Hindi muhavare (मुहावरे- idiomatic sayings).

There are dozens that I've grown up hearing, and more that I hope to discover ... I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to share with this blog ... and I believe this is it. Of course, it will be interspersed with the mundane happenings of my life, and all my 'oh-so-important' thoughts on anything and everything ... but the muhavare will remain stalwart throughout.

Gym

The other day I saw a large man sweating away at the treadmill at my gym, and I thought to myself "Good for you!" and I felt happy for him.

And then I suddenly realized that there are never any fat people at the gym. Is it me, or is that just ironical? It reminds me of this card game I once played -- I forget what the game was ... but I remember that there were several positions you would be in the game, and your objective was to reach and stay at the top. The top being the 'president,' and the bottom being the 'janitor.' I noticed as we were playing the game that the person who was in the janitor position would be kickin back and enjoying the game because he had nothing to lose, whereas whoever was the president would be stressing out about which cards he would get next. We all laughed when we realized how indicative of reality a simple card game could be.

So the analogy I was trying to make is that the slimmer people are greedy about hanging onto their figures, whereas some of the larger people don't have that 'greed,' and just enjoy life and take it as it comes. Personally, I think that's the better attitude to have.

On that note, I need to start going to the gym.

Retroactive posts

Since I didn't write during the most important time of my life, I am going to retroactively write about some things that happened, as I feel like it.

All throughout the wedding chaos it never really hit me that I'm getting married. Sure, I was getting congratulated dozens of times a day, and everything in my family's life was revolving around the wedding, but it never really hit me all the way. The day of the haldi it hit me a little more, when all the aunties sang 'banni' songs and blessed me ... it invoked the image I had seen so many times before at other weddings ... and knowing that I was the one they were singing for was a big hitting point.

Even the day of the wedding, when I was remarkably composed and not stressing out or being a basket case ... I calmly got ready for the wedding. We even sneaked out onto the balcony in our bath robes and saw the baraat leaving -- even then it didn't hit me. We continued getting me ready out in the bedroom, since the lighting was better there. When all was ready, and we went in front of a mirror for the final touches, I saw myself for the first time as a bride, and it was a surprisingly overwhelming feeling. If I didn't have Smita and Shilpa didi there at the time, I would have probably burst out into tears right then and there. It's hard to explain what was so emotional about that image ... perhaps the lifetime of imagining this moment ... or the associations that Hindi movies (and other weddings we've been to) have created with a bride ... but the Indian bride has such a specific look ... and knowing that this is the first and the last time you'll ever look like this ... it bears more impact than you'd realize.

The only other time that it hit me that I was getting married was when my father was bringing me out to the altar ... and I stood there in front of all 150 guests -- friends, family -- and directly in front of me was my Dulha, again, in a very specific look that he will never repeat again in his life. I almost started crying then, but my dad was with me and said 'Don't cry yet! It'll ruin your makeup!' If that doesn't make someone laugh, I don't know what would.

And now I've digressed so much that I haven't talked about what I really wanted to say. Will have to save that for another post.