Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Poopie Dreams

I had a very, very realistic dream last night, where I thought it was really happening. Baby had been born, and we were bringing him home. First of all, he looked like Shivaranjani (Guru ji's daughter), which was strange in itself, and I kept thinking how he's too big to fit into the Newborn sized clothes that we bought for him, and how those will probably go to waste.

Then I noticed that it was mom & me driving the baby back, and the carseat was behind the driver's seat, and I was irritated -- who set it up all wrong? I hadn't even turned back to look at the baby until we arrived at home. We got home and mom & I struggled to take the car seat out of the car, but we managed, and waited for Daddy & Kingsuk to arrive in the other car.

We were hanging out with baby at home, and then I said that we should probably change the baby's diaper. I opened the diaper and there was yellow poo all over -- it had gotten on baby's back (which I've seen) but also got everywhere in baby's hair too! And bc of the umbilical cord, we couldn't just give the baby a bath, so we were all taking out poo by hand from baby's hair. At this point, baby's head transformed into a brussels sprout size, and taking out the poo was like taking of layers of brussels sprouts leaves -- but very gently.

Me and Baby Shivaranjani
I woke up feeling like such a failure of a parent. I feel like I'm not ready for anything -- I'm tired of being pregnant, but I'm not ready to go into labor, and I'm totally not ready for all the feeding & poopings & lack of sleep that comes thereafter. I know it's probably just an overreaction, and common anxiety to have before the baby arrives ... but it was just a crappy dream (no pun intended). 

No comments:

Post a Comment